It has been forever since I have written about Noah and the update on him and I apologize for those of you who have been asking. At 25 weeks we saw two more specialists. One for a second opinion on how his other organs/etc... were functioning and the other was for the required heart echo.
We had a huge praise that week: His heart looks great!! Everything seems to be there and functioning well. That was a HUGE relief!!
The day before I had gone to see the other specialist for a second opinion. He confirmed that at this point it continues to look like an isolated cleft lip and palate. My other specialist told me there was no way they could tell 100% that it was the palate too until birth but this specialist along with the one I saw the next day seemed almost positive that it was.
I was really glad that he did not see anything else that alarmed him. I asked if I could see him and a moment later he put his picture up on the screen in 3D.
Before I write what I am about to write next let me just say that Chris and I got to see him more in 3D the next day at my specialist and we fell in love with the baby boy in front of us.
I hate to write what I am about to but I feel its important to be honest with my experience. At the first specialist when they gave me the 1 still shot of him on 3d, I burst into tears. I will forever regret that I had that reaction. I just was not prepared. Let me also say that the still shot they gave me was NOT a true depiction of what our baby boy looked like. It really made it look like half of his face was missing and then I got the comment from the specialist his cleft was "significant and wide". I regret now the deep depressive mood I had that day too b/c I have been given something I have I asked for for so long and in the end reality what I pray to God is that I will have him to have, hold and watch grow. It was just difficult for me at the time and sometimes still is to figure out if I am a strong enough person/mother to help him and prepare him for life's challenges.
The next day lifted my spirits when we were able to see him again more. This time the pictures showed that yes indeed he did have his cheek and nose! Our specialist also classified his cleft lip and palate as "average".
It was hard to get pictures of his face/cleft bc like always he covers it up like you can see in the first picture:
Then he moved his hand and we got to see his beautiful face. Oh, I just can't wait to kiss all over it!!
I continue to be amazed at how God works in the heart of his children. Over the past month I have either opened my bible and have come directly to a passage that hits my heart or our preacher has hit on a topic that seems to be directly focused on our current experience. Does anyone else find it crazy when something is going on in your life and you walk into church and asked yourself, "WOW. How did he know what we were going though?" It literally sometimes answers questions you have been asking before you entered those doors in the morning. Thats why I think attending church is so important. Not because going to church is what makes you a christian but bc it refills your spirit. Thats another soap box in itself.
Let me leave you with some of the Scriptures/thoughts that were just placed upon me without me even seeking over the recent month.
The very day that I got the first still shot of Noah, Paul's scripture was there to remind me to "walk by faith and not by sight."
That Sunday at Church after I had asked myself before entering am I going to be the mother Noah needs? Am I strong enough? I was answered with phillippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." The next Sunday our preacher opened with, "You cannot choose your problems in life but you can choose how you respond to them." Our first response is fear, our wrong response is blame and the wise response is to obey. God Gains glory through our trials if we obey.
I hope and pray that I can instill that in Noah when he goes through anything difficult in life. To obey God and allow God to gain glory through whatever it may be. Because the truth is we all have battles in life. Our end result is to hopefully make it to the promised land and just like in exodus it's on the other side of the wilderness. Getting there is the "journey."
With all that said, let me honestly say that I am truly in a really good place right now. I could not be happier and more excited about Noah being here soon. I just can't wait!! I feel so good about where we are at right now and what the future holds. Let me say thank you again to all of you who have been continuing to pray for our family. I have no doubt thats whats helping us grow more spiritually through this experience, strengthen our marriage and whats keeping Noah growing to be a strong and healthy baby boy! :)
We get to see him again in 1 week at the specialist and I am counting down the days again to see him again!!
Shirahs
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